strungout like christmas lights

"When we die these are the stories that stay on our lips.  The stories we'll only tell to strangers, sompleace private in the padded cell of midnight.  These important stories, we rehearse them in out heards for years but never tell.  These stories are ghosts, bringing people back from the dead.  Just for a moment.  For a visit.  Every story is a ghost."-Chuck palahniuk...haunted

A vodka enduced poem that you will probably hate

Memories of you

and these unfinished thoughts

have become to much to bare

the cold refrain

and the moon calling out,

calling out for the nights it watched over us

it saw your smile and like I wanted more

but where have you gone?

Where have you dissapeared?

deep in your heart where things go to die?!

But thats where you kept me wasn't it...

in your heart where i died

I was the drunk romantic who only thought he know about life and love

And you were the transparancies that projected what I always loved and wanted but could never have.

tHOUGHTS BEFORE YOU

Sitting on those steps with the warm wind blowing in my face and blue skies you wonder how people don't find beauty in the world anymore, even the gray horizon where the smog met the blue sky was beautiful.  And somewhere along the way I can't help feeling like there was something major I missed.  Almost like I completely blacked out when people were discovering the point to all this....to life.  And sometimes I can't help feeling like IM due for a miracle, something that seems everyone else has, even though I get this sinking feeling I'll...we'll never get it.  I guess were all just waiting for an end and I hope when it does happen its on a day as beautiful as this with someone I love.

how long can we take this chance not to celebrate

You ever go outside and feel overwhelmed by the world?  It seems to just hit you and all at once you realize that everything is alive and dieing at the same time.  Everything is always changing always reacting, so you try to not change or react.  You try to stop the world from turning.  You even try to stop dieing but then you realize that you can’t.  It’s a sad feeling when you look at something and realize that’s its never going to look that exact same way ever again, and neither will you for that matter.  Some people can’t handle this so they try to freeze themselves to that one particular moment in time, but it never works.  Things have a way of catching up with you, and usually it happens all at once.  Too often we read into things that don’t really matter and we run away from what we really think and feel.  We stop ourselves from processing life’s magic in exchange for a false understanding of what life should be, only to learn in the end that life wasn’t what you thought it was.  Then you wish to make up for all that lost time…but it will never be granted.  So learn to see the magic again before things catch up with you and its too late.  Because in reality the only bad day is the one that you miss. 

You know your a geek when...

                                                       TYLER (V.O.)

          That's Bodhi.  They call him the Bodhisattva.

beauty is where you find it

From the day we're born we're addicted.  From the day we're born were set into a mold, into a typecast that will be our life.  Who to love who to hate how to lie...starving for attention, for our 15 minutes of nothing.  Over caffinated over exposed over weight over our lives and essentially waiting for it all ot be over...for our lives to be over despite the fact that throughout our lives thats the only thing we'll never be able to get over.  But hey, whats a few pints of blood and a few gallons of tears between friends...whats a few unbreakable habbits and a little distruction amongst lovers.  And theres nothing like heartbreak to color up your life just a bit, and somehow it all feels right...at least it feels right.  At least were provided with something we know.  And despite how much we loath it all we'd feel lost without it...after all its what we know.  We live in this surreal world sourrounded by things with no real value and imposed meaning.  Were sourrounded by so many things we can't hold or see or touch.  We live in this corporate world sourrounded by logos and when did cyber space replace reality and when did we become trapt in our computers.  Who made this decision and when did we let it happen, when did our lives become sponsored logos and when, if ever are we going to do something about it.  When was the last time you tried to look at the sky, do you remember a time when you could just look up and see sky, when was the last time we found beauty in something as simple as the moon  WE LIVE OUR LIVES  BETWEEN STOPSIGNS AND STREET LIGHTS.  When are we going to stop being afraid to live and when are we going to take our foot off the fuckng break.  It feels so much better to coast into a brick wall than to stop two inches in front of it so hold on...hols on tight because im putting my foot on the gas and we're going full speed ahead and nothing is going ot stop this

untitled tequila transcribed paragraph

Take a shot of heart and chase it with soul because those who have no heart nor soul have nothing which will equil something (in the end)  So take mine because I have enough to give...(i offer it so do this in memory of me). With my heart and soul you will wander the lost poet of love and dishonor mixing words with chemicals until they find a meaning that means what you impose on it.  I'll live inside of you in your belly and blood slowly poisoning you until you are six feet under.  So take the road to the sun because it seems the brightest and with light shone upon your path you dare not stray so never betray for if you betray your heart and soul will evaporate and you will decay...decay and demise in your decidance! so leave me now and use the entrence as your final exit