Miles To Go Before I Sleep

Summer time is upon us yet again ladies and gents, and we all know what this means.  Expensive gas, sun block, flip flops, Casey's birthday and of course the traveling.  For all of you who might be doing some driving or traveling this summer I have come up with a new mixtape for just that occasion.  Its a double disk folk/acoustic/alt-country mixtape perfect for driving across the California desert.  So without further Adu, I present Miles To Go Before I Sleep.

“Says He’s Held Up With Holding On And On And On And On And On”

I hope he’s who you say he is,
Your knight in shining armor
Your prince on a pedestal
The best decision of your life.
Cause I’ve choked on these words for so many nights,
And now they’re choking me up.
The things you’ll never know
The things I never told you.
Those nights…
Those nights we were young,
We’d walk the empty streets and sing our favorite songs.
Those nights we’d sit on the curb and smoke cigarettes.
We were all we needed to be.
Well I just needed you to know that…
The nights laced with electricity and life,
They will be the only thing I take with me, forever.
So when you look back on the things you’ve done,
And the decisions you’ve made
Think of me.
And those nights.
Cause I’ll be laying in my bed face up,
And thinking of your smile.
So when he tells you
“This won’t mean a thing…”
Remember he’s who you wanted.
And for the record,
“I’m held up with holding on”
So may you achieve everything you’ve ever wanted
And if you can…
Never look back.
Cause when you do,
You’ll see the person you left behind.

Says he's held up with holding on and on and on and on and on

"I've choked on these words for so many nights, and now they're choking me up"  I wrote that line about a year or two ago and for some reason they still ring quite true.  Its funny how we can only run for so long.  I've been thinking about this girl again, the one that I always blog about.  The girl I'm always bitching about.  And its like a fucking disease.  For some reason she just always creeps into my life in some way or another.  And the best part is it's always in a strange subliminal way.  For example lately all I've been listening to is tell all your friends by taking back Sunday.  Now I've been spinnin that record since I was probably 15 maybe 16 years old.  Don't get me wrong, its a good record, but I couldn't fucking stop listening to it.  And tonight I figured out why.  It was that summer I laid eyes on the woman that would haunt me the rest of my life.  The woman that I was damned to love.  you'll never know.  And I'll never have you.  But those nights, they were th best nights of my life.  Those nights we were young.  Those nights we'd walk the lonely streets and sing our favorite songs.  Those nights that we'd sit on curbs and smoke cigarettes.  Those nights...those nights when all we were was all we needed to be.  Well I just needed you to know that, those night.  Those nights laced with electricity and magic, those nights will be all I take with me, Forever.  So when you look back on the things you've done, and the decisions you've made.  Think of me and think of those nights, because I'll be laying down in my bed face up, awake, thinking of your smile.  So when things get hard, and he says he never loved you.  Remember, I did.  And when he says ""this won’t mean a thing come tomorrow, Cause I'm still not sleeping, thinking I’ve crawled home from worse than this."  Remember that he's who you wanted.  And For the record, I'm done.  I'm held up with holding on.  May you achieve everything you've ever wanted, and if you can, never look back, cause when you do...You'll see all the people you left behind.

in·sid'i·ous-1. Working or spreading harmfully in a subtle or stealthy manner

   Speak to me.
   Speak to me those sad insidious words
   You use so well.
   A perfected phrase of happy sorrow,
   Words that flow over our heads
   And down with our drinks.
   Words that haunt only me.
   So just go ahead and pretend,
   Pretend I’m him…
   The mean of your dreams,
   The man you loved before
   Everything went wrong.
   Speak
   And let your body speak the words
   You can never say.
   Because lets face it love,
   I’m not much…
   But I’m better than being alone.
   So speak to me
   Speak to me the cool peppermint words of hope
   The heavy words of sorrow
   And your empty words of love

They're sharing a drink they call loneliness...But it's better than drinkin' alone

Those sad songs

They take you back to that gray place

The dingy bars

The down and outs

The dust that covers us,

Like old coats

...Warm and loving

This is the place,

This is the place we go to be resurrected

The living limbo

The place your both dead & alive.

You wait for someone to save you

You wait for someone to walk through that door

Silhouetted by blinding light,

An angel

...Broad shoulders, and a handsome face

...Red lipstick and a black dress to match

We come and go

Born...Resurrected

But this stool has me bound

My ball and chain

All I have waiting...

A cold bed,

With a heart to match.

So I smile.

I smile because that's what I have left.

I smile and I strike conversation.

Quiet and Polite.

Play the part,

Because I know what they want to hear...

The sad writer,

Heartbroken and alone.

And here

...Sitting in eternity...

I am much obliged.

Last Chance To Make Your Biggest Regret

She said "Conversations with strangers never came so easy,

A quick smile was all I ever needed to get by"

(I was...) Quiet and collected

(You were...) Flirty and suggestive

But games are for people who like to win

And you know what they say

(Nice guys...)

So go ahead and be his trophy

And wear your gold metal

(Around that finger)

Because lets face it love,

The only thing I can live up to...

Is letting you down

Go ahead and think things through

Cause this wont mean a thing

Come tomorow morning

Is this what you wanted?

Is this what I promised?

Is this...

Untitled

   She cries out to me
   That sad beseechment
   Quiet sublime
   Like Miles’ soft horn
   On Flamenco Sketches
 "Come home to me
   Come home to me
   In the quiet whisper
   Of a warm summers night”
   …Cause you know
   “I was a pencil tip away
   From doing something stupid”
   But all those little white lies
   “They keep me up nights”
   Say what you will baby
   (And feed the rumors to the mill)
   Because I’m two drinks away
   From proving everything you’ve
   Ever said about me
   (But just keep talking baby, just keep talking)
   Cause come last call
   I’m coming clean
   (So what do you want to hear?)
   “She was a friend of a friend”
   Twice removed
   Or that we…

   “Fucked in the bathroom?”
   (But just keep talking precious, just keep talking)
   Cause I’m not the one with something to prove
   (What are you trying to?...)
   Life is full of disappointments
   I’m no different
   So what are you trying to prove?
   (Cause the truth will…)
   Cause the truth is,
   I can hold out much longer than you.