The Dialogue Of Love, Will Tear Us Apart

The picture I had in my head when I penned this was that of a shabby room (of which, unfortunately I'm much to accustomed to).  It's dark and there is just a little lamp on and it's a shitty room with a bed and two nightstands on each end of the bed.  And a table by the door.  A typical shitty room.  It's raining and from the looks of it it's late.  The ash tray is overflowing.  The room smells of smoke and whisky and perfume.  It's the living out of a suitcase lifestyle.  The down and outs.

 

She stood in front of me naked, except for that painted on smile she always wore after a few drinks.  The rain taped the window, mocking me, calling me out, exposing me for what I really was.  And for the first time, that night I that we'd become the furniture.  Stagnate, stationary, and sanitized.  We'd become mummified into the images we'd projected of ourselves.

"I know you don't really love me."

She broke the silence with a sharp honesty neither of us were ready for.

"You think you're different, or special and that you're meant to be alone.  But I don't think that's it at all.

I sighed, "I didn't ask you what you thought, and I really don't give a shit about your drunken half realizations."

"You're just scared.  You're just scared you're going to love someone so much one day that you'll have no mystery left.  And you'll be at their complete disposal.  You're just a scared little boy who needs to be miserable.  We all see you for who you are...you couldn't fool anyone if you tried."

She said it like it had been building.  They weren't words, it was an exhale.  It was her body purging these feelings she'd been trying to keep inside.  It was her exhale of freedom.

"If you know me so well then why the fuck are you still here?"

"Because I love you"

"You don't love me.  You love the thought of love; the concept, of never having to be alone again.  You'd love anyone who'd give you the time of day."

"You should know."

"At least I'm smart enough to know the only person worth loving is myself.  Loving someone else is just fellatio of the soul.  You lift them up to the highest point then let them fall farther then they were before.  Love and God are words people like you use to keep from living a real life."

"Ohh but bars and whores are a real life.  You're a miserable bastard."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I hate you."

"Now your getting it.  One minute you wanna fuck me, now you wanna fight me.  Beautiful feeling isn't it."

Sobbingly she whispered.

"I hate you."

Brothers in Arms

We were brothers once,

do you remember those days?

We were brothers in arms

sinning our lives away.

Kings of Verona

that's what they'd say

Look at those two,

sinning their live's away.

But now you found someone better

and the party was over the day you met her

So when you wake up five years

down the line and you realize your miserable

remember I told you so.

We were brothers once,

do you remember those days?

We were brothers in arms

sinning our lives away.

You had a brother in me,

that's what they'd say

but to you friends are seasons

and she was easy

so I hope your happy

And you can live with the decisions you've made.

Modern Savage

The beautiful purity

of self destruction.

Minimize yourself to perfection.

Feel the whiskey

brew in your stomach

and measure your life in sin.

The bigger the sin,

the better the time.

So live your life

and to hell with what they say.

They are a dime a dozen

and you are a diamond

so live in the bars,

on the streets,

in these words

and show them what they can never be.

Because if your days are numbered

and today is your last,

you can smile and bid the world adu.

Even death will fear us,

the modern savage,

the scum of the earth

with a heart of gold.

Safe and Sound

Smile for me

and show me what I can never have.

But as long as your next to me,

it doesn't matter.

So let's live our lives

the only way we know how,

we'll drink and joke

and I'll lace every single word

with "I love you."

I'll flash you every single look

with that twinkle in my eye,

and I'll hold you like this forever;

safe and sound.

If you could only see

what's right in front of you.

Next time I smile,

know it's just for you.

Tomorrow when the sun rises,

know it's just for you.

And when it dies

and the stars shine on your street,

know I'm looking up and them

and thinking of you.

So lets live our lives

the only way we know how.

We'll drink and joke

and I'll lace every single word with,

"I love you."

So let's live our lives

the only way we know how,

like every day is our last.

And as long as your next to me,

time will never pass us by.

So flash me that smile I love

and know that every thing I do,

Is for you.

Princess with a Pension in Peril and Thinking about Loss Prevention

Princess sailing on the dawn of sorrow

she asks,

when will it be tomorrow?

When will tomorrow be today?

And how long has it been…

Since we ran away?

And how long have we been…

Sailing this bruised ocean?

And how long has it been…

Since we ran out of that feel good potion?

I long for you,

instant gratification.

I long for a little,

fornication

…Of the heart and soul.

But your hard heart

bound in cement shoes

is too far gone now

so take me here

under the watchful eye of the moon

under the blank sky that reflects our bruised ocean.

Replace my feel good potion

make me forget why we ran away

make me forget about today

bring tomorrow on your lips

confessions made in our hips

…And may the moon forgive us for this.

Los Angeles

The guardian of our fair city

perched in the sad sky,

the patron saint of last call.

Sitting in your throne

you watch us stumble off our stools

we howl like mad men,

cry like children.

and pour out our hearts

like inmates at last confession.

Dreamers with hope in their eyes,

artists with sorrow in their hearts

you beseech us,

all the same.

You watch over us.

And here in your home,

at the end of the world.

We sit.

Hourglass

In the silence of our surrender

we’d become fragmented shells

of our former selves,

responding only to physical impulses.

We were lost to the world

wandering the dark abyss

that is our lives,

looking for that blinding light,

that white flash of hope

that we once shared.

But this is the life we’ve been given

despite all our parents prayers.

And as this moment passes to obscurity,

a passage in time that no one will remember

we’re dragged across existence

like a lazy southern drawl

and covered with the slurred comfort of eternity.

We have become footnotes

in the history of the world.

Once day these shackles of sin and sorrow

will be broken.

The key kept inside a beating heart,

my siren of freedom that wanders this dirty valley.