Screen black
Out_ Camera pans cemetery. High shot, slow pan, sunny day, breezy if possible. Captures serene beauty, quiet calm. The sleep of the dead, infinite.
(V.0.)
A proper introduction is the key to any substantial relationship. The firm handshake and look in the eyes as we greet. Well we don’t have time for a proper introduction I’ve only got six minutes, and to get all this across to you, in that amount of time is going to be pushing it. Six minutes is where we have to stop so take a deep breath and get ready to take this all in.
Flash
Int_ Blank Room, single chair is placed in center of room- Camera is twice removed; I.e. camera is filming a TV set.
Narrator walk’s in room, looks dazed. Sits on stool. Sits quiet for a second, collecting his thoughts. With a hint of darkness and great apathy looks into the camera
Narrator
So this is the part where I tell you why I’m here, isn’t it?! The who, what, where, when, and who gives a fuck. We’ll I’ll spare you most of the details, but what you should know is that I’m 18 I used to be a senior in high school and I used to be alive.
In a calm and subtle voice
Narrator (cont)
But none of this matters, in fact nothing you know, or will ever know will matter, all that matters is that one day you will die and everything that you do from now until then is just wasted time.
Narrator is getting increasingly hostile, almost in a fit, but right at the breaking point, becomes subdued and docile once again
Narrator
Your brain show activity six minutes
after you die. Six minutes, it can be an eternity or the blink of an eye. Six minutes of sorrow, six minutes of passion, six minutes too long, six minutes is never enough. But to tell you the truth when your dead six minutes is all you need… (Looks around) death, as we know it does not exist it’s just a word, a symbol, used to trigger a fear an emotion a meaning. It’s like love; a concept used to cover up what we fear the most, the unknown.
Flash
Int_ Long white hall. Camera follows hall, eventually stopping in front of room 206. Camera enters room, it’s an emergency room. Crew is desperately trying to resuscitate our dieing Narrator.
(V.O.)
And despite all other circumstances you have been led here to me, to room 206. I’ll spare you the details, but what you should know is that room 206 like any other room in the building, windowless, white, and fading fast. They say white is soothing, they say its comforting that white makes you tranquil. Here I am dieing, the typical ER scene, the rushing the blood loss the heart monitor flatling. It’s like a play, every instrument has a part and when one of them fails they close the Curtin.
Flash back to empty room
<FONTFACE=VERDANA>Narrator
I had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity and I realized that we are a generation of kids raised on happy meals and happily ever afters. We are a generation raised by shit parents who didn’t know what they were doing. We are a generation of kids raised by kids. We are the generation with no purpose, only possession. But most of all were are a generation of people who think they are the main character in life that they determine and run their own story, change in perspective doesn’t mean there’s a change in importance, a Narcissistic youth.
Flash back to room 206. Narrator is flat lining as the doctors give up on him.
(V.O.)
As I lie here dieing, slowly fading… becoming a memory there is a culture war being fought on a battlefield for all to see, whether you know it or not, a new type of guerilla warfare. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. Everything your mother warned you about.
Flash back toRoom, narrator looks very angry, almost shouting.
Narrator
But you know what you want; you want to be a millionaire so you don’t have to work, so you can quit your shit job and find something else you hate. I know what you want just like they know what you want…money, cars, houses, a bigger dick, bigger tits, hair plugs, vaginal reconstruction…A generation of thoughtless thinkers. No wonder were so indecisive, no wonder were always at a cross-road, do we ever know what we want or do we want what they tell us to want? Do we have free will? The only free will we have is Coke versus Pepsi, and even that is an advertisement to our subconscious. You life’s dream is a cleverly placed advertisement, you reason for existence is to consume. The way I see it everyone’s so scared of just letting go of hitting bottom. That’s what I set out to do hit bottom. My goal was to be as deconstructive as possible. I tried to devolve, to forget everything I was programmed to think
Flash
Int_ Narrator in his room, sonic youth’s “teenage riot” playing in background. He’s been drinking, looks distraught. Knife sitting on his bed.
(V.O.)
Let’s flash to the moment I hit bottom, the moment that yes you realize that you are a failure, the moment that this feeling…this overpowering pressure takes over your body and it hits you in your chest…this slowly creeping sadness that hits you and your heart begins to fill until...your drowning. The moment that you realize that with every breath you take you will destroy something… a life, a relationship, ourselves. Look at me the last attempt of the fail human, when all you can do is cry, when crying is the only feasible answer. Now that I look at it, I was already dead…
Narrator is crying very hard. Drunkenly slanders to no end. Looks at the knife and picks it up. Stop’s crying. Examines knife. Points knife to his chest, right above his heart.
Flashes back to room…
Narrator
I’m sure you’ve all seen enough movies so that you know what it must have looked like. I stabbed myself in the heart in my room… no letter and what I though were no regrets. The whole thing about your life flashing before your eyes… well it’s not all bullshit you remember what you want, those images that burn into your soul, you may not remember them but they’re there… I honestly don’t know what’s next. This is my first stop on the infinite road. Who knows maybe after this whole thing is over I can be something… or shall I say, someone different. This is what Indians would call my spiritual quest…the turn when the character resolves the conflict…the shitty part in the movie where the character finds himself, when he finally realizes what everyone else knows. The adventure is wandering around in the dark not knowing what will happen, just letting go, the state of mind that is freedom, the ability to no longer be controlled by the trivial, to stay off the path and think. Throw away that golden future, destroy everything your sure of, confront the familiar, live your life in the dark and every second will be a challenge, its like being in a bad dream and now I’m just waking up…taking your first breath of air. So now you’re asking yourself the golden question; was death worth dieing for? Was all this shit worth it, did I learn anything new, what did I get out of this? Well if I answered that than I’d be no better than the rest, I’d ruin the experience for you, I’d be no better than…well you know. All that matters is that mistakes are worth making and sometimes that one mistake that ruins your life that one moment when nothing will ever be the same, that mistake will be the whole point of your life; it’s in that one moment that you see everything. Even I don’t know what comes next, and for some reason that Van Halen song “Running with the devil” comes to mind, but really all I can say is that you caught me at a very strange time in my life, what might be referred to as a transitional period so if your looking for closure you came to the wrong place, but if you leave hating me that’s fine, in fact its encouraged but just remember “This is your life…and its ending one minute at a time”
Camera becomes twice removed again. Narrator gets up and walks out. Flash of white light.
The end
"Handsomely Equipped to fail, I wen't out into the world."
"The bedroom air seemed full of unspoken words, unformulated guilts, a vicious silence, like the moment before a bridge collapses."
"I'm only happy when I forget I exist. When just my eyes or my ears or my skin exist. I can't remember having been happy for two or three years."
"I was filled with a dry sadness, a mixture of remembering and knowing; remembering what was and what might have been and knowing it was all past."
"All the unspoken mysteries of puberty hung in the air"
With each answer we are given lies the end of a question, the end of a search, and a tiny death of knowledge. With each lie spoken resurgence in knowledge is made, an obstacle in the path; in the search...in life's search, in the unanswered questions we live for. In the beating of your heart, the breath in your lungs, the blood in your veins, lays a question with no answer, a question of vast solitude and immense depth. Life is a series of unanswered questions and death...death is a reflection of the lies we believe to be answers, so in essence truth is obsolete, truth is what we want it to be, what we need it to be, truth is whatever we use to keep us alive.
