Me Vs. God? Vs. Myself

The war inside of us is being waged.  The war between believing and not believeing accepting god or calling him the bastard that he is.  This duality is who we are.  We will never fully accept or deny.  There will always be an itch that vulnerability passing the blame passing the buck out of sight out of mind.  Its in this struggle I realize that I am a mere mortal, flesh and blood, I am no more a vestle of spirituality or a hoast of salvation as anyone else and i won't pretend like I am.  But I, like everyone else exist in a world filled with symbols, where nothing is what it seems.